Betrayal is never a pretty sight.
We tend to focus on betrayal in romantic relationships, but the reality is that betrayal of a close friend can be just as upsetting.
If this has happened to you, it may not be easy to recover.
If you decide that your friendship has ended, it will take some time to adjust to life without him.
But if you want to keep this friend in your life, you’ll need to face what happened and work through your feelings before you can begin to repair the relationship and move forward.
Here are the steps to take in both cases.
Table des matières
1. Accept that being betrayed by a friend is deeply hurtful.
It is normal to feel devastated when you learn that a friend has betrayed you.
These feelings can be difficult to overcome for some people. They don’t understand why a friend has such power over them and how a betrayal from a friend can cause so much damage in their lives.
This is due to the fact that we tend not to value friendships and romantic or even familial relationships as much as we do family relationships.
But being truthful with ourselves about our feelings will help us to see how important friendship really is and what an impact it has on our lives when things go wrong.
Friends are those who are there to support us when we need them, and who are always present in our lives.
They are our family, the ones we trust and confide in.
Good friends can be a constant companion, even though we cannot control our families and romantic partners.
They love us at all stages of our lives, from our greatest to our worst. They love us exactly as we are.
It’s essential to make friends.
It’s perfectly legal for a friend to betray you.
Do not beat yourself up. Accept your feelings, give them the respect they deserve and be open to looking at them and working through them.
2. If you can, have an honest conversation with your friend.
You may feel that your friend has betrayed or manipulated you to the point that you are unable to speak to them face-to-face, at least not for a while. That’s your right.
If you are able to have a conversation with him, it might save your friendship or help you move on.
Both of you need to be honest with each other, and not let your ego get in your way.
Give them the chance to explain what happened.
While this may not apply to your case, you might want to consider whether you were involved in the outcome.
You may have been the person’s least trusted friend in recent times, which could have contributed to their behavior. While this isn’t an excuse for their behavior, it is something to be aware of.
3. Determine why you feel so betrayed.
What hurt you so much about what your friend did?
You need to take some time for yourself to think about why this hurts you so much. What parts of what he did bothered you the most?
What was it about?
Was it a concrete action that you felt was a betrayal, or a hiding of the truth about something?
This may seem obvious, but the main reasons you are so hurt by this situation may be more complex than it seems at first glance.
4. Ask yourself if the relationship is worth saving.
So you have had an honest discussion with the person about what happened and you have had the opportunity to analyze how you felt.
Now it’s time tolook ahead and decide if the friendship you had with this person can be salvaged and, if so, if it’s really worth the effort to mend fences with them.
How important are they in your life? Would your life be poorer without it? Are you willing to do the work necessary to rebuild this friendship.
Was this betrayal completely unexpected and out of character? Or was this person never the kind of friend you deserve?
Don’t just focus on how she betrayed you in the present, but think about the past.
If this person has always been a good friend to you in the past, been there for you when you needed them, given you good advice, been loyal, and enriched your life, then a betrayal may not be enough to counteract all of that.
Or maybe it will. It’s entirely your decision.
5. Ask if they are sorry.
Of course, much of how you move forward will depend on how your friend handles the situation.
If he or she can’t understand your feelings of betrayal and hasn’t apologized or done what he or she can to make things better and make amends, it may indicate that the friendship has no future.
If, on the other hand, she showed remorse and did her best to make amends, this may be a sign that your friendship can survive her betrayal.
6. Don’t make hasty decisions.
Anger can cause us to make bad decisions later. You don’t want to lose a friend because of an impulsive decision taken in the heat.
Before you make any decisions, take some time to relax and reflect.
You might be better off not talking to your friend until you feel you have reached some equilibrium, so you don’t regret saying something later.
You know your person well enough to know what it takes to get them hurt.
Focus on the fact it would be terrible to lose a lifetime’s worth of friendship by saying things you don’t mean when the red cloud falls.
7. Say goodbye.
You can overcome some betrayals and get over them. Sometimes, however, a betrayal could mean the end to a friendship.
If that’s the case, it is time to end the friendship.
You can decide if you want to have a serious breakup with the person. You wouldn’t end your romantic relationship if you didn’t let the other person know.
It won’t be easy to have this conversation will be difficult but you might still want to talk with them. Let them know that you aren’t able to forgive them and that you don’t want them in any part of your life.
This will provide closure for both of you and prevent them from trying contact you if they don’t want to. It may also make it easier to move on.
8. Or, forgive him.
On the other hand, you may realize that, despite the betrayal, this person is extremely important to you, and you are willing to forgive her and work to rebuild your friendship.
In order for you to become friends again, you must forgive her for what she did. You don’t necessarily have to forget her completely, and you probably never will, but you must sincerely forgive her in your heart of hearts.
Any lingering grudge will only lead to problems later.
9. Don’t expect miracles overnight.
You shouldn’t expect things to go back to normal as soon as you decide to rebuild your friendship. Your friendship is in deep trouble and will take a while to heal.
Both will need to take time to reflect on what has happened , and to plan for the next phase of your friendship as you move forward.
Keep your cool and be patient with one another.
Remember that things will not be easy and won’t happen quickly. You need to realize that picking up the pieces will take effort and determination.
Remember that things will not be easy and they won’t happen quickly.
10. Remember: a good friend is a treasure.
If you want to forgive your friend and move on, but are struggling to do so, remember that good friends don’t grow on trees and friendship is worth fighting for.
Betrayal can be the death knell of friendships, but if you both commit to loving and caring for each other, the best friends can overcome anything.