It’s normal to wonder about your friendships and what they mean to you. If you have questions about your friendships, a therapist maybe able to help you develop better relationships.A therapist can help you improve your overall well-being through relationship development, as well as through topics such as social anxiety, loneliness and more.
Do your friends disappoint you often? Do they constantly put you down? Do they abandon you when you need them most?
If this is the case, it may be time to find a new definition of a true friend. Here are some of the things to look for when choosing who you trust with your friendship.
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A true friend supports you at all times
A person who is a true friend stands up for you. When other people try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. They don’t care who is trying to hurt you; they will defend you anytime, anywhere. If they can help you, they will do so without reservation or reward. A true friend is not one who tells you over and over again the negative things others say about you.
- First, he makes it clear by his words and actions, what his position is toward you.
- Second, he does not simply remain silent when others disparage you, regardless of the social consequences they incur.
A true friend is a friend when it suits him and when it does not. He stands by you constantly, whether you are present or not.
He answers you with empathy, perspective and honesty.
True friends don’t pretend with you. They show you who they really are. They are honest with you when it matters most. They never try to fool you to make themselves seem stronger, more successful, or better than they really are. A true friend goes beyond the surface, all true friendships require a certain level of vulnerability. When a friend opens up to you and shares their struggles and disappointments, it shows the trust and value they place in you. Having a friend show you that they trust you with their authenticity is a good indicator that you can do the same with them.
A true friend is not only honest with himself, he is also honest with you. He is able to have difficult conversations and tell you things you don’t always want to hear. The key is that he does it with love and grace. He doesn’t tear you down, but instead, a true friend holds you to a standard that he knows your character is worthy of.
He accepts you as you are despite your differences
A true friend accepts you as you are. He can encourage you to become a better version of you, but he also helps you see the beauty of who you are right now. It doesn’t get distracted by what others may say or think about you. Instead, they celebrate the person they have come to know. While a true friend may encourage you to make good decisions, they trust your judgment and respect your personal judgments. They don’t become passive aggressive when they give you advice you don’t agree with, but they respect boundaries and value your feelings and thoughts. They don’t push you to become what they want you to be, but they celebrate what makes you unique. They accept your personal growth and evolutions along the way because the reasons they value go far beyond your personal style, interests, profession, marital or relationship status, etc.
They want what is really best for you
A fake friend may push you to change for him. He may give you the feedback you want rather than the words that will actually help you. A true friend acknowledges your feelings, but at the same time points you toward a happier, healthier life. A true friend is not complacent about your personal development, he doesn’t stand by and watch you make choices that are not good for you. They want to see the happiest and healthiest version of you. They encourage you to make the choices that will help you achieve your goals in life. They teach the art of being your biggest supporter while also holding you accountable to your goals.
True friendship does not abandon you
Friends on good days are with you when you are happy and successful. Then, when things go wrong for you, they move on to the next happy, successful person.
A true friend, on the other hand, stays with you through trauma, disappointment, mental health crises and physical illness.
He doesn’t abandon you simply because it’s easier or more comfortable to avoid you. Because a true friend truly cares about you, he wants to be there for you in your time of need. They care more about what you’re going through than how much fun you’re having. A friend isn’t just there for the things in your life, they are there for you! So when your life gets tougher and you feel down or overwhelmed, you won’t have to go through these things alone with a true friend by your side.
How do I develop my own perspective on a genuine connection?
Everyone has their own ideal friend. In addition to the qualities shared by all true friends, you may want a friend who shares your interests or goals. You may also want to spend time with people who are different from you and who push you to grow as a person. If your current friends let you down, redefining true friendship can open the door to a rich and rewarding relationship.
Just like our personal styles, we may all have different needs and desires for friendship. You may also come to recognize that some differences are able to support you in certain areas of life, while you may have another friend you rely on for support in another area of your life. Expanding the friendships that make up your support system can help you ensure that your needs are adequately met. No friend is perfect, and no friend will be everything to you. Even true friends can sometimes disappoint us.
What matters most is how they respond to your feelings and the patterns they establish. Have the disappointments you experience in your friendship become patterns? A true friend cares about you and is able to care about and respect your thoughts and emotions, even if they disagree with you. If the disappointment you experience in a friendship has become constant, it may be time to redefine your definition of a true friend.
Talking to a professional therapist can help you understand where you are going wrong with your choice of friends. The therapist can provide you with a solid psychological foundation for recognizing and nurturing the friendships that will enhance your life and bring you happiness and peace now and in the future. It only takes a moment to ask for help. When you do, you can begin your journey toward satisfying friendships with real friends.